It feels good to be asked for things. We might grow impatient with people who are constantly asking for something from us, it’s good to know that someone else needs you. We all have a psychological need to be relied upon. This is why parents delight in giving gifts to their children, especially the kind of gifts that will help them to be better people. Fathers especially derive a sense of satisfaction in providing for their families and working for an honest living.

          Looking at good and virtuous earthly fatherhood gives a window into understanding God as our heavenly Father. He too loves to bestow gifts upon His children. Sometimes, though, when children ask for gifts, their parents know that such a gift would not truly be good for them, and so they re-orient that desire to something they “really” want.

Something very similar often happens to us when we ask the Lord for things, and thus we can see three types of seemingly unanswered prayers. We can frequently be deceived about what we really desire, especially when jealousy is involved: “Lord, why can’t we be happy like that family? They always seem so perfect, but we’re always fighting.” Or, “Lord, why can’t we have more financial security like those people? They have a big house, drive new cars, and wear the best clothes. Are they such better people than we are that they should receive such blessings?” However, when we desire the possessions of others or immaterial goods like their happiness, we often do not see the carefully disguised pain that lurks just below the surface. Envying the happiness of another person is particularly dangerous because all of us carry secret burdens and sufferings, and sometimes those who appear the happiest, who have the most carefully crafted, picture-perfect lives on the outside are the ones carrying around the most hurt and suffering. Even if they do not yet know it.

So at times, our prayers seem to be unanswered, because we’ve actually asked God for something that would not be good for us (unanswered prayers, 1).

           At other times, it seems that our prayers are not answered because we ask that the Lord remove some suffering from our lives. So unanswered prayer, type 2, are those where we ask God to eliminate a suffering, and He doesn’t.

It could be a suffering that you experience yourself or that someone dear to you experiences. While suffering is a result of the fallen state of the world, itself the result of original sin, it is important for us to remember that suffering is not the greatest evil. The greatest evil, is sin, but this truth has been obscured by the world’s pursuit of pleasure and comfort at all cost. We think that discomfort is intolerable, and therefore cannot accept that God would allow anyone to suffer. In reality, though, God will allow us to suffer only as much as He knows that we are able to handle with the help of His grace. This is why we should frequently seek the help of the sacraments when we are suffering in body or in spirit: the Eucharist as often as possible, Confession on a regular basis, and the Anointing of the Sick when suffering finally brings us to face our bodily death. This is not at all to say that it is wrong for us to pray that our sufferings be removed, and especially for the sufferings of others to be removed, since, after all, seeing those we love suffer is often much more difficult than suffering ourselves. Rather, we should always ask in our prayers that we also be granted the resignation to suffer well what we experience in body and spirit, being ready to offer our sufferings for the good of our brothers and sisters and the salvation of the whole world.

          The third and last kind of prayers that we frequently see as unanswered are those prayers by which we ask that God remove true evils from the world – not just sufferings that we or other experience, but true evils. Since suffering, is not true evil, these are the evils of sin. Why does God allow so much unbelief? Why does He allow our government to pass laws infringing upon the rights of all persons to life and threatening the sanctity of marriage as a life-long union between one man and one woman? Why does He allow the media and entertainment industries to poison the minds and hearts of people young and old?

          It may seem strange, but God allows so much disbelief in Him in the world because He wants to increase your faith. That’s right: God allows others not to believe in Him because He so greatly desires you to believe in Him. He wants you to love Him with the fervor of all those who do not love Him, to pray on behalf of all those who do not pray for Him, to follow His teachings more closely on behalf of those who do not know them or simply choose not to follow them.

          When we struggle to understand how God is working in our lives, it is always good turn to the example of the Blessed Virgin Mary. She dealt with so much uncertainty, from the mysterious announcement of the Virgin Birth to Her Son’s death on Calvary, but She did so always with a spirit of faith and trust, never abandoning Him. Do not forget to ask Her to see the Lord’s work with trust and always to respond as She did, “Let it be done unto me according to Thy word.”

The Rev. Royce V. Gregerson

Parish Church of Our Lady of Good Hope, Fort Wayne

XVII Sunday through the Year, A.D. MMXXV