“I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.”

          The United States, along with not only the entire developed world, but even now with much of the developing world, is experiencing a fertility crisis. Until several years ago, the US stood out as the only developed (first world) nation with an above-replacement-rate fertility rate of 2.1 births per woman. As of 2025, the US fertility rate has fallen 23 per cent since 2007, to 1.6 births per woman, which will have drastic cultural and economic consequences such as closing schools and the lack of workers to care for and economically support an aging population.

          A lot of religious cultural commentators put the blame on women: They care more about careers than motherhood; they have unrealistic expectations about parenting; they’d rather sip margaritas in Paris than scrub sippy cups in Fort Wayne. (And before going any further, let’s emphasize that we’re talking about intentionally not wanting to have children, not the increasingly large number of people who are prevented from having children or having more children by infertility.)

          Author Tim Carney interviewed numerous intentionally childless Millennial and Gen-Z young adults about their reasons for not having children. (The young lady who’d rather be sipping margaritas in Paris being one of them. Apparently, she hasn’t done much research on Paris.) In the same park in which he encountered her and her partner, after looking in vain for someone who did have children, he was excited to see a young lady pushing a double stroller. Unfortunately, it contained two schnauzers.

          However, a few years later, wrapping up the research for his book, Family Unfriendly: How Our Culture Made Raising Kids Much Harder Than It Needs to Be, Carney called that young lady up. She was married, and excited to start having kids. What changed? The man in her life. She explained that back in 2018, she was dating a crummy guy and had a terrible relationship. Now, she’s married to a good man, a man she knows she can trust to be a father.

          On the fourth Sunday of Easter, we celebrate Good Shepherd Sunday. Christ uses this image of Himself as the Good Shepherd to remind us that He comes back to life to be the shepherd of our souls, to guide us into life. “A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” The thief of our life, the enemy of mankind, has stolen and slaughtered our world’s understanding of what it means to be a man or woman, and what it means to be married. Married love is necessarily free, faithful, total, and fruitful. Any relationship that is not entered into freely, that does not have the intention of being exclusively faithful, that holds something back, or that does not intend to be fruitful in being open to the gift of children, is not really marriage.

          The story of the young lady pushing schnauzers in a stroller whose heart was opened to motherhood by a good man entering her life is instructive. Many Western governments have tried to solve the fertility crisis with economic means, to little or no avail. Even massive amounts of pro-child tax credits or cash payments have only slightly moved the needle. What if what we’re really missing is shepherds?

          Women need good men whom they trust will be good fathers, to be willing to have children. When thinking of obstacles to family formation, most religious people in 2026 think of “wokeism” – that women are too culturally progressive, that they would rather push schnauzers in strollers and sip Beaujolais in Paris (to get a little closer to authentic). But what if the real problem isn’t “wokeism,” but “workism”?

56 per cent of people say that having a career you enjoy is essential for a fulfilled life, as opposed to 25 per cent of people who say that having children is. Further, even though Americans are working a similar number of hours as in years past, work now invades every part of our life. It’s always there in our pocket, expecting an immediate response. Companies claim to offer flexibility as a family friendly benefit, but at times, it’s more of an excuse for them to invade every hour of your waking or non-waking day. Even some seemingly family-friendly initiatives, like subsidized childcare, just end up subsidizing work.

Men have power in the workplace, and they should use that power to make the workplace more family friendly. They should push employers to make it a priority to have employees who are good fathers and mothers. One female partner at a major law firm told Carney that when she sees a woman at the firm working late, she wonders, “Well, she might be a great lawyer, but is she a good mother?” Only recently, she realized, “Why don’t I wonder whether the man working late is a good father?” Have women’s advances in the workplace been better for women, or for employers and the stock market?

The joyful abundance of life Christ desires for us in children is possible because of good marriages, marriages in which women can trust that men will be good fathers whom they can trust and rely upon. Good marriages require good dating, because dating is about the discernment of the vocation of marriage. But here we have another problem: People aren’t dating. In many places, asking someone from your social circle out on a date is now considered creepy.

Even secular scholars recognize that one reason that people aren’t dating is because they’re getting everything they think they need from a relationship from the internet. Young women: If your relationship is getting serious, if you’re considering marriage, ask him serious questions about his virtuous use of technology and chastity. He will not be a good husband if he does not have a baseline of chastity. The Sacrament of Marriage is a beautiful source of grace; it is not a magic switch that erases vice. There are resources for healing and recovery, if he is willing to be the man he ought to be for himself and for you.

One of the ways that men are trained to be good shepherds of their own family is having been a part of a good flock of sheep. People often fear having more children because they’re not sure they can provide the intensive parenting and enrichment activities that seem to be expected for every child. But the best enrichment activity you can give your children is siblings! Of course, not every teenage boy holding his baby brother or sister is ready to be a dad, but there’s a reason it warms your heart to see them playing with siblings and cousins. Before there were parenting experts and child psychologists, there were families, who taught (and still can teach!) young men and women to be mothers and fathers by a rich and lively family life.

          The United State’s greatest period of fertility, the Baby Boom, corresponded with the greatest sense of national optimism and hope our country has experienced in living memory, as a confidence in America’s role in the world and the goodness of our nation filled the hearts of her young people. Religious people have always had more children than non-religious people. Our detractors would say that’s because we control women’s bodies and limit their rights. But the real reason is that we have Hope. We have hope in salvation in Christ. We have hope in eternity. We have hope that we are infinitely loved and infinitely worthy of love. We have hope that people are fundamentally good, and that bringing more infinitely loveable people into the world makes the world better.

          That love of new life should move us to advocate for social, government, and workplace policies that are truly family-friendly and encouraging of new life. But that will never replace faith and hope in the Good Shepherd who is the gate to eternal life, and to living hope here and now. “Whoever enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture,” He tells us. “A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.”

The Rev. Royce V. Gregerson

Parish Church of Our Lady of Good Hope, Fort Wayne

IV Sunday of Easter, A.D. MMXXVI